Difficult conversations

I recently read social work academic Ray Jones’ sobering and critical analysis of the case of 'Baby P', which put me in mind of working with Carla (not her real name) when she was under probation supervision.

I was allocated responsibility for her community order which included a condition (now a requirement) that she attend a designated anger management course allied to one to one alcohol counselling. Having liaised with her social worker, prior to arranging a home visit, I noted an inchoate sense from her on the phone that she was concerned at what she perceived to be her 'covert drinking' and the consequential risks this might pose to her children from 'emotional abuse'. There was a felt need to engage in 'authoritative practice' such that certain positive parenting behaviours had to be demonstrated and actioned, as there remained a real and pressing likelihood of her children being 'removed into care'.

Such was the level of mutual distrust with 'social services' that appeared to surface when I arrived at Carla’s address that she double checked that I was indeed her solitary visitor. To compound what was, at the time, a very volatile situation, was the news that the children’s father who had been serving a lengthy prison sentence was due to be released imminently and she was fearful of his 'abusive personality'.  Carla exuded a great emotional resilience and opened up in a way that suggested, even though she was under a criminal justice sanction, that she may see my professional role as more than a 'screen and intervene' approach.

I noted that the next core professional meeting (involving all those agencies with a direct professional role in Carla's children’s lives) was scheduled for the following week.  We discussed how this might facilitate a safer outcome for her and her children but enable her to find better ways to build on her obvious strengths whilst recognising those areas of risk and vulnerability that remained unaddressed. I had committed to attending the meeting and duly notified Carla and also agreed to clarify, as part of potential release on licence of the children’s father, suitably tailored conditions that could include protective measures for her safety.

When I arrived at the meeting, which was arranged in an annex to a local school, my immediate reaction was one of mild apprehension. The number of attendees seemed worryingly large and the newly appointed social worker was fumbling with copious case notes in what appeared an unprofessional manner. I wondered about Carla's own considerable social and community network: who might she call upon outside of the 'distant strangers', each entering Carla's world for the first time? How might such relationships be fostered, if not anchored in an awareness of the challenges she faced in her community and the stresses she was daily coping daily with? The meeting started without Carla, as each participant noted that they had other commitments, and her lateness was deemed indicative of her resistance, and 'lack of engagement?’ When she did arrive there was a visible dismay that she appeared to have been drinking, and, although coherent, she seemed unsteady, so the meeting was delayed. 

Carla had in fact taken her children to school but traffic delays (confirmed) had resulted in her lateness. She conceded that she had 'taken a drink' to allay her worries at the prospect of attending the meeting ('they are always using words (jargon) I don't understand' she would say). Though these actions were ill-advised, she did accept that her capacity to care for her children could be jeopardised and made 'unsafe' if this behaviour remained unaddressed.

How much was her capacity to care compromised, I wondered, by her clear financial struggles and restricted access to employment? But Carla always noted that she wanted to 'do right' by her children. She wanted to work towards a care plan that could provide developmental supports for the children, and enable her to follow some of the creative ideas that she had for becoming employable. The anger management and alcohol counselling needed to be followed up, and, with many stuttering starts, were complied with.

Carla often referred to me as the 'right' probation officer! What did I imagine this amounted to? Certainly being realistic, positive and caring were part of it, but so was demonstrating this in relational practice, acknowledging the pressures and complexities of family life, being 'risk sensible', setting clear boundaries and being trustworthy.

I felt that acting as an advocate at times was also well received, but being able to have 'difficult' conversations without becoming too defensive was vital, as Carla asked me once, 'Mike have you ever been depressed, drunk too much and not had enough money?'.